Get Out Of Your Own Way

I turned on the car radio just as Bono began crooning the chorus to the U2 song called Get Out Of Your Own Way. It was one of those moments of synchronicity as I used this phrase earlier today to describe what I try to do for myself and my clients.

So much is possible when you get out of your own way. We may know this to be true but how to do we execute on the promise? As the song suggests, it’s a bit of a fight. In my opinion, it’s a battle between the head and the heart.

Get Out Of Your Own WayLiving from or within our heads can get heavy. Our brains, a connection point to all that is, have a vast capacity for wisdom and knowledge. However, the head has a way of taking over and acting like a command center. Our focus shifts to thinking, analyzing and processing. Ration and reason run rampant in the head. Spending too much time in our heads can be exhausting. Self-doubt, judgment and the impulse to control can quickly take over.  Everything is even in the heart, the place where love flows. Facts and figures do not resonate with the loving vibration of the heart. As the organ that keeps the rhythm and movement to support life, the heart is where we connect to all living things.

Heart based living commands compassion. It requires unconditional love for the self and another. We trust our hearts to keep beating. To keep the flow of life inside us. We must also extend this unconditional trust to ourselves (and another). For the heart to take the lead we must let go.

When we make the choice to live from the heart, we feel lighter, calmer and free. To achieve this we must forgive ourselves (and then another) for anything that may have prompted the heart to close. And then, have gratitude for the flow of life.

Get out of your own way and keep an open, loving heart.

Reflections from a Recovering Workaholic

Are you a also recovering workaholic? I was always a first in, last out kind of worker. As a natural early riser, it didn’t take a lot of effort to get to the office early. I was often surprised to be the only one there but appreciated the quiet time to get my day started.

As my colleagues filed out promptly at 5:00 p.m., I somehow always had something to finish up or wanted to prepare for the next day. It didn’t seem like a big deal to me to stay a little late. I wondered why were they were all so quick to rush off.

Lunch breaks were often very brief and spent at my desk. Sure, I occasionally went out with colleagues or met up with a friend but that seemed to be the exception.

No one told me I had to work 60+ hours each week. I just did it. It felt like the responsible thing to do. There was work to do. I wanted to do a good job. I wanted to be good at what I did. I wanted to be recognized as a hard worker.

I didn’t expect the burnout. I didn’t expect the resentment. I didn’t expect that no one really cared how many hours I worked each week. Not my boss. Not my friends. Not my family. It wasn’t how they measured my success or worth.

Being a workaholic wasn’t healthy. The were few rewards but there were plenty of lessons. The most disheartening was that no one really cared how many hours I worked.

That’s when I realized that I had to re-calibrate my life. I’m not proud of the hours I spent overworking but I am happy to be a recovering workaholic. Are you ready for something different?  Let’s connect.

Stress Strategy: Relax

Do you know how to relax?

A relaxed state is the default state of the body. Most of us don’t know what it actually feels like to relax because we exist under a constant state of low grade stress. Our busy, on-the-go lifestyles are to blame.

Before pushing coping mechanisms to the limit, consider making time for unstructured leisure time each day or week. Making time to relax is not a luxury. If the possibility of relaxing stirs up a reaction, all the more reason to do it.relax

There are some proven relaxation techniques–breathing exercises, massage, meditation, yoga, listening to music, etc.  It’s best to experiment and see what works best for your body. Maybe reading a book or taking a walk will provide relief.

Incorporating relaxation into your schedule and practicing over time will help improve your ability to relax. It’s important to be patient when learning a new skill. It gets easier the more you do it.

The end goal is to be able to notice how the body feels under stress (i.e. an active mind or tense body) and select the technique that enables the body to come back to it’s natural relaxed state.

How do you relax?

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Winter Wellness Guide

When the wind begins to blow and the earth becomes cool and dry, it’s time to prepare for winter.  This winter wellness guide will help you weather even the toughest of winters.  Learn about the food and activities that can help ground and warm. Discover how a consistent daily routine can provide much needed sense of stability for the season.

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Speak Your Truth

Have you noticed that having something on your mind can be exhausting?  All that processing and analyzing drains precious resources.  Speak your truth to let go of what’s on your mind and shift the energy.  When you speak your truth, thoughts in the mind and emotions in the heart are released and rebalanced.

Speak Your Truth

Finding and using your voice is not an invitation to recklessly share everything on your mind or in your heart.  It is important to be appropriate with expression.  Choosing the right time, place and person with whom to speak your truth is vital. Brevity is best. If you are not able to use a calm, confident tone, it may be a good idea to pause and wait.  Notice the difference when speaking about pain (or hurt) instead of from it.  Conversations that are emotionally charged will not necessarily provide a release.  Speak your truth with compassion.  Not everything has to be said.

In situations where it can be challenging to verbally speak your truth, there are alternatives.  Writing in a journal, walking outside (near the water or under a big sky), or visualizing speaking your truth are all helpful.  Electronic communication–text, email and social media–is not recommended as it disrupts human interaction and displaces the healing power of live conversations.

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